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Mar 7, 2012

Baby E’s birth story

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So, I thought that I should probably be more punctual in writing up Baby E’s birth story than I was with Little O’s (written about 15 months after the event). Although he is now six and a half week old, it feels as if Baby E has been part of our family for so long that my memories of his birth are probably just as they were of Little O’s 15 months on!

Our little gyermek (child in Hungarian) was due on 25 January but as Little O had arrived 9 days after his due date, I was convinced that it would be about the same with our second.

The Thursday before my due date three mamma friends came round for dinner at our place, our excuse for a girls night being that they had all volunteered to help out with looking after Little O when the time came for Husband and I to go to the hospital. Of course they needed to come round for dinner and see the spare room and hear about Little O’s routine. And so what if that part of the plan actually happened at 1am, shortly before they left… We spent the large part of the evening discussing birth stories and perhaps also indulging in a very little bit of gossip. And I clearly remember telling them that I knew that this baby would not come on time, that I was settling down for a long wait and that maybe I would even get to the same stage as with Little O and have to be discussing the option of the dreaded inducing of the little one.

Fast forward to the next evening and Husband and I decided that it really was time to practice some of the Lamaze breathing exercises, seeing as we’d had our refresher course a month before, just before Christmas. Just before going to bed we ran through the three different breathing exercises. We’d been warned that the third one could make you feel a bit light-headed, so when I started feeling a bit funny immediately afterwards, I imagined that was the reason.

But then I started feeling even odder and it started to feel familiar. Off to the bathroom I went, and that was it, my waters broke. And immediately the contractions started. They were probably about 30 seconds long and about 3 minutes apart. I immediately sent a text message to my three mamma friends and let them know that all systems were go. It was around 10.30pm at this point and one of them had just finished having a meal with colleagues in the city and so she was able to be with us within 10 minutes.

While I waited for her to arrive, I wrote up Little O’s breakfast details and anything else that I could think of that she needed to know. Because, of course, this baby was going to arrive late, so I had not done any of this yet… I called our chosen hospital, BB Stockholm, a privately-run ward at Danderyd Hospital, where Little O was born, and let them know that we were heading in. (A privately-run ward sounds so very posh, but it isn’t really – you pay a small fee and it is all just a bit nicer and less hospital-like.)

Husband called a taxi and I ran through the instructions with my friend and put the final bits and pieces into my hospital bag (yeah, yeah, of course, I hadn’t fully packed that either – don’t you know, this baby is going to be late…). By this time the contractions were still about 30 seconds long but were now coming every couple of minutes. A quick discussion with Husband and we changed plans and decided to head for our nearest maternity ward, at Karolinska Hospital, instead, as BB Stockholm was a 25-minute drive away and Karolinska was just 10 minutes down the road. Karolinska were more than happy for me to come in – especially when I said how close the contractions were and that Little O had been born in around five hours (from when my waters broke).

The taxi journey was were things started to get a bit surreal. As I was having a contraction at the time, I’m not sure how it happened but the next thing I knew Husband and the taxi driver were chatting away in Hungarian, while I sat in the back wondering whether I should be doing the first stage of Lamaze breathing or the second…

At the hospital, we were taken into an examination room and the midwife waited while the contractions abated so she could check me. By this time, which was around 11.40pm, they were less than a minute apart and unfortunately she wasn’t quick enough examining me between the end of the last the beginning of the next. Blooooooody hell, that hurt. On the upside though, I was at 9.5cm.

At this point I knew which breathing pattern I should be doing and switched to the third, as I was feeling the urge to push. I let the midwife know this and also that I would really, really like to use gas and air. She obliged and suggested I kneel up on the bed and hold on to the headboard as that was where the mask was.

The next part is a bit of a blur. I remember breathing very deeply in and out when the gas came through and starting to feel its effects. Some more people came into the room and I was feeling the gas fully then, so in my confused state, I became convinced that they were surgeons and that I need to have a C-section. They started to undress me and asked me to hold out my arms and at that point I may or may not have grabbed one of them on the boob – sorry to whichever one it was! It got more surreal from there and I started to think that I had full understanding of everything – you know, life, the universe and everything. I remember thinking “I need to ask Husband for a paper and pencil when this is over, as I need to write all this fantastic insight down”. Oh yes… powerful stuff that nitrous oxide. The only thing that was distracting me from these amazing thoughts was the woman screaming in the next room – I really wanted her to shut up. I took the mask off for a short while to ask for a glass of water and found that the screaming had stopped. As the gas began to clear from my system in that brief period, I had an even clearer realization: that the woman screaming was me…

Two sips of the water, another urge to push, mask back on, two pushes more and Baby E was born at 00.01 on Saturday 21 January.

Baby E - a few minutes old

So, it was a pretty intense experience all said and done – an hour and a half from waters breaking to Baby E’s arrival, beating Little O’s five hour delivery by some margin. I know they say that subsequent births are quicker than the first, but this really was cutting it fine, as he born just 20 minutes after we arrived at the hospital. I am so very glad that we made the decision to take the nearest hospital, rather than risk Baby E having been born at the side of the motorway on a cold January night!

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Aug 4, 2011

The Gallery – birth

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Tara’s gallery prompt for this week has made me realise that I have not told my birth story on here. (I’m sorry to take the predictable route with the prompt, but I’m pregnant now; I need to conserve all the brain cells that I have!) Unfortunately, the pictures taken of us with Little O in the first minutes after he was born are terrible quality as the light in the room was low, we only had a little point-and-shoot with us (for reasons that will become clear as you read on) and as I had forgotten to switch the flash on.

Here he is at six hours old though:

Photo © English Mamma

The due date that I had been given was 2 May and even though I knew that the chances of our baby being born on or within a few days of the due date were slim, I still felt a little disheartened when that day came and went. The days dragged on and then it got to 6 May and what I hoped would be my last midwife appointment. She booked an appointment for Friday 14 May at which we would make the arrangements for me to be induced on the following Monday, something that I really, really did not want to happen.

The very next day – constant lower back pain, spasms down my back, shooting pains down my inner thighs, bags of energy and the appetite of a horse. It had to be the start of the something. But the next day, Saturday 8 May, I woke to nothing. All these symptoms had fled and I felt back to normal again (or as normal as you can feel at 41 weeks’ pregnant…).

Then on the Sunday, I woke with a feeling like my waters had broken but only ever so slightly. I had heard all the info at Lamaze class that women rarely have the typical “Hollywood style birth” of dramatic breaking of the waters, rushing into the hospital and the baby being born after a couple of pushes and a little bit of screaming and swearing (for good measure). However, something felt different, odd, not quite right. I called my hospital of choice and spoke to a midwife who said I should come in at 3pm if I still felt as if my waters had broken. I spent the day climbing a ski slope (yes, really – there’s a ski slope a ten-minute bus ride from the city and it’s all grassy and lovely in the summer months) in an attempt to encourage this baby out. At 3pm, I called again and they suggested that I head on in. So, I spent much of the evening being monitored and they were able to tell me that, no, my waters hadn’t broken but that I was having mild contractions and that the baby was likely to be born within the next few days. Hooray!

So, off I went home again. And woke the next day to nothing again – no feelings of muscle spasms in my belly, very little back pain and a feeling that nothing was happening at all. I have to admit that at this point, I dragged the duvet from the bed and curled up underneath it on the sofa in a sulk. And I stayed there for the day, watching DVDs and television and generally feeling very sorry for myself.

When Husband come home from work that evening, he decided it was time for Operation Cheer English Mamma Up. He suggested that we opened a mini bottle of champagne that we’d received as part of a set for our engagement, saying that we should celebrate what was likely to be our last night as just too. Given my mood, I was pretty unconvinced but decided what the hell. I took just one sip of that champagne and immediately had such a strange feeling inside. I ran to bathroom and just made it in time – my waters broke. And this time it was clear that my waters had broken in true “Hollywood style”! This was around 7.30pm.

We jumped in a taxi after grabbing the essentials – handbag for me, wallet, mobile and keys for Husband – and headed to the hospital. As we got nearer the hospital I felt the contractions starting – unpleasant enough to make me grip the door handle but nothing too bad. Once at the hospital, the midwife and nurse took a look at me, stuck a heart monitor on my belly and then went off for 15 minutes while it monitored baby’s heart rate and my contractions. They were still reasonably low level. When they came back, the midwife suggested that we head back home as nothing looked likely to happen for a good few hours. She and the nurse unhooked me from the monitors and went off to find me some painkillers to take at home. A few minutes after they had gone, I knew I was going to be sick. I ran to the bathroom and vomited. And the moment that I stood back up, BAM – a major contraction, and nothing like those I had been feeling before. They came back in the room and I told them that I didn’t think I could go home. It was around 9pm by that time.

They suggested that I go into the shower and see how I felt. I have to say that it did nothing for me. I was wobbling around on a birth ball with a large sanitary pad on the top while Husband stood behind me and blasted my lower back with water as hot as we could get it. I don’t really have much idea how long I was in there but I know that the contractions were coming thick and fast with less than a minute between, which didn’t give me much time to adjust before the next one started. Just reading back through the notes from the hospital, I can see that they officially admitted me at 10pm but even at that point they have written “Waiting to see what happens.”

They decided that I should come out of the shower and I remember being very emotional and dramatic and asking for pain relief. The next three or four contractions were long and drawn out but I used gas and air for as long as I was able. And after that fourth one with the gas, the midwife patted me on the arm and said: “You’re 10cm dilated.” It was 11.30pm by this time. I was not going home that night!

We spent the next hour or so in a variety of different positions, trying to find what would work best and work with my pushing. We tried on the edge of the bed, on a the birthing stool, leaning forward over the bed, on the bed leaning forward over the headrest and finally, squatting on the bed and gripping onto the shoulders of the nurse on one side and Husband on the other. I don’t remember doing my Lamaze breathing but Husband told me afterwards that I was. I guess all the practice paid off and I went into auto-pilot with my breathing.

At about 12.45am, the midwife told me that we were nearly there – a few more pushes and we’d have a baby. I got a little carried away at this point and tried to push when I did not have a contraction but a few stern words from the midwife about what that could do and I soon stopped. Two more pushes – burning, burning, burning sensation – and at 12.50am our baby boy was born. He screamed immediately as well he might, having been introduced to the world so quickly.

Little O surprised us with the speed of his entry into the world and continues to surprise us each day.

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May 10, 2010

Ready, steady… stop

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Photo from thestir.com

It has been an interesting few days (and by interesting, I mean hopeful, expectant and frustrating). Last Thursday, I went to see my midwife for my “I don’t expect to see you again” appointment. Her first words to me were “So, still here then.” I spent the hour and a half before the appointment wandering around the city, taking photographs and trying to encourage gyermek‘s arrival. But to no avail…

The outcome of the appointment was that if gyermek has not arrived by Friday this week, I’m back to see her and we book a time for me to be induced on the following Monday (ie a week today) – boo.

Friday I went out for lunch with friends and then visited another friend, recovering from surgery, and her little ten week old. I spent the day convinced that something was happening: the lower back pain was constant and now with spasms running through my back every hour or so, I had shooting pains (like a trapped nerve) down the insides of my upper thighs and I felt a sudden burst of energy and could eat for England.

“This is it”, I thought, “The little one will be here by the end of the weekend. But I’ll just eat a hot Thai curry for dinner to help things on the way.”

I woke on Saturday to find that all these symptoms had practically disappeared. Nothing doing. I insisted on Mexican food for lunch, just in case, but ended the day feeling pretty disheartened.

Yesterday, I woke up and was convinced that my waters had broken. There wasn’t a great deal of liquid but definitely enough to warrant a round of googling. Taking the advice of many of the websites I found, I headed back to bed for half an hour to see if any more water would appear. No luck. When I checked out the page for the hospital it told me to call if I thought my waters had broken.

I spoke to a lovely midwife who asked me to call back at around 3pm and we would monitor the situation then. In the mean time I walked up this hill (minus the snow) in an attempt to encourage some action.

Three o’clock rolled around and it felt like there was more liquid, so I called the hospital back and they suggested that I come in for a check-up. So off I tootled to BB Stockholm, the ward where I hope to give birth (crossing fingers and toes) at Danderyd Hospital.

After an hour and a half of checking (heart monitor on gyermek, contraction monitor on me, followed by a rather unpleasant internal examination), they were able to tell me that my waters have not broken but that mild contractions have started and that they expect to see me back there in the next couple of days. Hooray!

This morning, however, I feel like I’m back to square one: I have none of the feelings of the muscle contractions in my stomach, very little of the back pain and no feeling at all that anything is on the cards.

And, like tiddlyompompom, my mood was not improved upon receiving emails from babycenter and the like about the first few weeks of my baby’s life. I think I’ll have to follow her lead and find some chocolate cake…

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May 6, 2010

Walking tour, walking cure

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Photo © English Mamma

Today I spent an hour and a half walking around the city, taking pics, exploring streets and alleyways that I’ve not wandered along before and generally trying to encourage gyermek to hurry up and arrive.

After the walk, my midwife booked another appointment for a week on Friday and said that if he/she hasn’t arrived by then, I’ll be induced on the following Monday. Bad in two ways: first, I really, really don’t want to be induced; and second, I cannot be induced at the hospital where I have a guaranteed spot, and instead going to a different hospital where it is not certain that we’ll get a family room after the birth (which means that Husband might not be able to stay with us).

I’m pretty disappointed with the news but am hoping that it encourages gyermek – surely he/she wants Pappa there for the first couple of nights?

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May 5, 2010

A typical Taurean already?

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DARK ASPECTS OF TAURUS: Stubborn, jealous, self-righteous, dogmatic, strong and silent, can appear ignorant and obstinate, lazy, possessive, self-indulgent, inflexible, unoriginal, unimaginative, stubborn.

Star Sign Astrology

It’s good that I don’t really believe in astrology (especially as stubborn appears in this list twice), but if I did, I might think that stubborn and inflexible is how gyermek is being about his/her arrival just now!

English Mamma

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May 4, 2010

Week 40 update

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How far along?: 40 weeks and 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: 14 and a half kilos

Stretch marks?: Building up a collection now around the appendix scar and on the underside of one breast. Apparently, stretch marks are like buses and they all come at once.

Sleep: Some nights good, some nights bad (especially those when gyermek decides to have a 3am party).

Best moment this week: Looking through all the photos taken by the wonderful Emma during the pregnancy photo session and choosing our favourites.

Worst moment this week: The lack of sleep and all the extra hormones causing me to have a meltdown on Sunday night. Poor Husband had to deal with a snivelling wreck by the time bedtime rolled around.

Movement: Still daily, but muted.

Belly button in or out?: Still out at the top and in at the bottom.

What I miss: Not really anything specific this week – just the usual: being able to tie my shoelaces or put on socks, being able to wear some of my pregnancy clothes (some of them are even too small now), being able to get out and about as much as I would like etc.

What I am looking forward to: The arrival of gyermek, whenever that may be…

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May 2, 2010

Day Zero

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Photo by Beth77 (on flickr)

No, not a post about reaching my estimated due date without the arrival of gyermek… Instead, this is about the Day Zero Project, where you set yourself 101 tasks to complete in 1001 days.

Unfortunately, pregnancy brain really seems to have taken hold and I wrote this post with the intention that I could complete another task, that of writing a blog post every day for a week. However, when I returned to the list I found that that wasn’t actually one of the tasks that I had set myself. It does mean that I am 25% of the way towards task no. 13 (to blog every day for a month), although I would be incredibly ambitious to believe that I could complete this run, given that today is the due date and if gyermek doesn’t make an appearance in the next 14 days, I will be induced. Oh well, I’ve still got more than 950 days to go… 

Day Zero tasks

  1. Eat at 10 new restaurants – already three new restaurants down (mainly because we’re getting out and about as much as we can in these last few days before gyermek arrives).
  2. Read 10 non-fiction books – two down, eight more to go!
  3. Finish off the nursery (part 1) – this will be complete once the cot arrives (any day now.
  4. Learn some new knitting stitches – learned how to do extended moss stitch this week; not quite sure when I’ll allow myself to call this task completed – how many is “some” after all?!
  5. Write a letter to myself to open in 10 years
  6. Ice skate on a lake
  7. Buy something from Etsy
  8. Attend a film festival
  9. See the Northern Lights
  10. See 10 classic movies I’ve never seen
  11. Go ice skating
  12. Host a tea party
  13. Participate in NaBloPoMo
  14. Learn how to play poker
  15. Make snow angels
  16. Don’t complain about anything for a week
  17. Take a photography class
  18. Make my own bread
  19. Photograph a landscape from the same location, capturing all four seasons
  20. Bury a time capsule
  21. Visit 5 parks or public gardens
  22. Take more photos
  23. Host a board game night
  24. Visit Japan
  25. Visit Australia
  26. Learn Swedish
  27. Make a font out of my handwriting
  28. Learn CPR
  29. Bake bread
  30. Improve my posture
  31. Visit 5 new museums
  32. Read War & Peace
  33. Learn how to play chess
  34. Blog at least once a week
  35. Learn more about wine
  36. Wear false eyelashes
  37. Floss at least once a week
  38. Inspire someone else to make their own 101 in 1001 list
  39. Visit the Ice Hotel in Jukkasjärvi
  40. Wear nothing black for a whole week
  41. Visit the Eden Project
  42. Start a new family tradition
  43. Get rid of 101 things I don´t need or want
  44. Take a photo of 26 things, one for each letter of the alphabet and post on my blog
  45. Drink more water
  46. Tie notes to five balloons and let them free
  47. Go to the library, close my eyes and pick a random book that I have to read
  48. Get a cleaner
  49. Sell something on Etsy
  50. Send someone flowers, just because
  51. Take 1001 photographs
  52. Attend wine tasting
  53. Buy cakes from Betty’s
  54. Walk the York wall
  55. Read 100 books from 1001 books to read before you die list
  56. Lose the baby weight that I have put on
  57. Finish knitting gyermek’s blanket
  58. Finish putting our wedding photos into the album
  59. Learn how to use the DSLR camera properly
  60. Buy some artwork/photos for the walls
  61. Make use of Spotify more often
  62. Teach myself the basics of calligraphy
  63. Call my personal trainer and restart training
  64. Remember birthdays
  65. End the 1001 days with the same plants I started with
  66. Keep my desk at home tidy
  67. Buy a piece of secondhand furniture and renovate it
  68. Finish off the nursery (part 2)
  69. Learn CSS and update blog layout
  70. Visit Patagonia
  71. Travel somewhere by steam train
  72. Revisit the British Museum
  73. See a Formula One race live
  74. Take a trip to see the Norwegian fjords
  75. Buy a summer house
  76. Read five books that have won the Booker prize
  77. Take that large pile of clothes and shoes to the charity shop
  78. Have a difficult conversation instead of deflecting and avoiding when it arises
  79. Make eye contact and smile with each person I encounter for a day instead of looking away
  80. Organise wardrobe and give what I don’t want to charity
  81. Learn to ski properly
  82. Put away 101kr for each completed task – the total to be spent shopping at the end of my 1001 days
  83. Run Tjejmilen in Stockholm
  84. Comment on others’ blogs more
  85. Learn a new word in Swedish every day for 4 weeks
  86. See an opera here in Stockholm
  87. Revisit Budapest, taking the little one with us
  88. Drink champagne for breakfast
  89. See the Changing of the Guard in London
  90. Visit St Paul’s Cathedral
  91. Have a meal at The Fat Duck
  92. Have a meal at Noma in Copenhagen
  93. Have a meal at Mattias Dahlgren
  94. Start a photo blog – another challenge completed (English Mamma’s photos)
  95. Have a meal at Frantzen/Lindeberg
  96. Visit the Victoria & Albert Museum
  97. Learn how to use Photoshop properly
  98. Go mushroom picking
  99. Write birth plan – tick!
  100. Finish packing hospital bag – tick!
  101. Finish adding 101 tasks to this list! – tick!

Why not have a go too and let me know how you get on. I’ll be posting on my progress from time to time (4% done so far) up until my deadline of 2 January 2013.

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Apr 20, 2010

Battle station ready

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Photo by nolifiek (on Flickr)

As of this weekend, we’re now battle station ready in case gyermek should decide to come two weeks early (well, almost ready – the hospital bag is mostly packed, but the birth plan is finally with the hospital). Although I am not convinced that he/she will come early – out of four of us, two have had babies early and one five days late, so mine should also be late, right? Ha ha, let’s see.

This weekend, Husband and I started a betting pool on when gyermek will arrive. He’s going for 1 May, the day before the due date, but I’m sure that’s only because he thinks gyermek will come at the most inconvenient time, and 1 May is Labour Day here an a huge public holiday, meaning that getting a taxi to take us to the hospital will be an interesting challenge. I, on the other hand, am betting on 5 May, a few days over just to keep me on my toes but not too late (I am guessing here that gyermek takes more after Husband rather than me on this front – my birth came around three weeks after the midwife had said I’d be born…).

Anyway, back to what I was planning to write about. As we approach the big day, I thought I could share some of what I’ve learned about pain relief options from our birth class and from what I’ve read.

  • Movement: In the first phase of birth, movement is recommended as a way to block out the pain of contractions. In Birth Skills, Juju Sundin suggests concentrating on moving your feet in a rhythm or rubbing the soles together when a contraction comes. She writes that any form of rhythmic movement that diverts your attention away from the contraction can be used – for example,  rocking and swaying your hips, marching, pacing, rhythmic steps, sliding your back up and down the wall, bouncing on the fitness ball and even stomping in shallow water.
  • Massage: As part of our lamaze/childbirth class, we learned different massage techniques that partners can use to help us to relax, as massage releases endorphins (“happy” hormones) in the body. Those of you who read Swedish can check this out (from page 10), and those who cannot might get some benefit from the drawings or can read about them in English here.
  • Acupuncture: I’m afraid that this is not an area that I have investigated too thoroughly as I really cannot stand needles. But one thing I can say is that midwives in Sweden also have training in acupuncture and so you can take advantage of that as a pain relief and relaxation technique in Swedish birth units. This article tells you a little more about the advantages (allows movement, can be used with other forms of pain relief, can be used for home births) and disadvantages (it might not work for you, you might find it too stimulating and irritating) of acupuncture during labour.
  • Warm water: Standing in a shower of warm running water is relaxing enough at any time and can be especially so during labour. Again, this can prompt your body to release endorphins.
  • TENS: This little machine has had mixed reviews – some love it, some cannot feel much effect from it. TENS works by passing small electronic vibrations to pads that you attach to your back. Its advantages are that it can be used with other forms of pain relief (except those involving water!) and that it releases endorphins. It’s a good idea to try out the machine beforehand (despite having borrowed a TENS machine nearly four weeks ago, I haven’t yet tried it out – time is ticking!).
  • Lamaze breathing and relaxation: Although you can read about Lamaze breathing techniques online, I think it is best to sign up for a class (generally taken about six to eight weeks before your due date) as then you really get a chance to practice the breathing properly. In Stockholm, you can sign up for a class in English called Lamaze & Active Childbirth, which I highly recommend. One of the great advantages of Lamaze breathing is that you and your partner work on and practice the techniques together – we really found that it both interesting and fun to learn.
  • Laughing gas: This gas is a mixture of oxygen and nitrous oxide that can be used during labour. An advantage of the gas is that if you don’t get along with it, then you just stop using it and it leaves your body almost straight away. On the other hand, you need to time your contractions well and get that mask on in time as it takes around 20-30 seconds to feel the effect of the gas. I’ve used it once before, at the dentist for fillings – my dentist said beforehand that it feels like being at a party and having had one glass of wine too many. And without the subsequent hangover! However, it can make some feel nauseous.
  • Epidural (EDA): An epidural into the spine blocks pain and sensation from the waist down. The anesthesiologist first gives a local anesthetic at the base of the spine and then inserts a catheter into the epidural space. In Sweden, walking epidurals are generally given, which allow you to move a certain distance from the equipment, rather than having to lie on the bed. Again, I’m afraid, this is not an area that I have investigated too much – needles and all that…
  • Sterile water injections (trialled in Sweden): This form of pain relief seems mainly to be used to combat severe back pain during labour. For me, the main problem with this is that the injections are said to hurt… a lot. In fact, I’ve heard of women having to use Lamaze breathing to be able to have the injections! You can read some more about them here in English and Swedish. The effect of the injections is said to last for one to two hours.
  • Paracervical block (Västerviksmetoden): A paracervical block of two injections into the cervix can be used to combat pain in the early labour stages but unfortunately does not have much effect later on in labour. It does not seem to be used much in Sweden nowadays.

Well, there we go – some different pain relief options to think about.

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