Pregnancy, babyworld, toddlerdom and beyond
I received an email this morning from Campadre, a site selling clothes, shoes and interiors via limited-time sales, and I noticed that among their daily sales, they have Boob design maternity and breastfeeding clothes for the next few days.
You can register with them to buy or to receive these daily emails detailing their new sales. At the moment they also have sales on Rosti kitchen items, Ulrika handbags and Blink shoes among others.
Enjoy!
I am a very happy mamma today following our visit to the nurse for Baby E’s weighing in. Yep, he’s back on the curve and growing well. (And let’s see if he also sleeps through a third night as well tonight – holding my thumbs, as they say here in Sweden!)
Baby E: three months old
In my Drafts folder, I have had notes for a blog post that I wanted to write about breastfeeding. The draft has been sitting there for about seven weeks now. The notes that I wrote in it were about how breastfeeding seemed to be established after our initial struggles and that we had it sorted now.
Now the breastfeeding rug has been pulled out from under my feet. Baby E is now taking two bottles of formula a day and is likely to increase that to three in the next day or so.
When I took him to the BVC (the baby and child department at the doctors’ surgery) this week for his injections, the nurse weighed him again as two weeks ago, when he was last weighed, he had dropped down to two lines below the curve. In the past week or so he had been extending his feeds to 35-40 minutes, but the day before his feeds had dropped right back to just 15-20 minutes. I was really hoping that this was a sign that he had upped his weight in the previous week and now was getting back on track. However, he had dropped a little further down on the chart and she said that could now see on him just by looking that he was underweight. Not words that any mamma wants to hear.
She recommended either breastfeeding him more each day or to give him formula for some feeds instead. She did not say it directly, but she was certainly leaning towards the second option and even gave me a large tub of formula powder for babies with a milk allergy.
I left there with very mixed emotions. I have not ever really loved or enjoyed breastfeeding that much, but I feel sad that it is coming to an end, simply because this time I have fought so hard to keep going with it. On the other hand, I just don’t love it enough to fight hard for three more months of breastfeeding Baby E when we are under so much stress at the moment. In fact, Husband and I believe that it is most likely this stress that has contributed to this problem. Since Baby E has been born, we have been travelling frequently down to southern Sweden to spend time with Husband’s sick father, we have bought an apartment, we have packed up numerous boxes of our possessions, tidied and cleaned our apartment into a minimalist white box, put the apartment on the market; and we have very recently made a last-minute trip down to Skåne to say goodbye to my father-in-law, then travelled back down for his funeral, and finally this week been through a real estate trauma. All this while juggling life with a toddler and a newborn. I guess my stress level might have been a little higher than usual.
But still, I cannot help but feel to blame for Baby E being so underweight. Shouldn’t I have noticed this before? What about a mamma’s intuition? He has not been crying out for more food, he has not had problems sleeping, he has not seemed short of any of the developmental milestones. The only sign that he is underweight has been his weight when measured by the nurse. Yes, he is small but then both boys were smaller than the Swedish average when born and both have so far remained smaller the average. However, now that we compare Baby E at three months with how much Little O weighed at the same age, we can see there is almost a one kilo difference.
So, my goal now is fatten up my poor little boy, and if that means formula, so be it. It certainly has done his big brother no harm.
I’ve been a little quiet online for the past few days because my body decided that now was as good a time as any to get mastitis. Oh yes, and what a delight that has been…
On Sunday evening, Little O, Baby E and I came back from another second birthday party and I started to feel a little sore on my left-hand side, spreading down from under my arm. I could not feel any lumps so I did not think anything more of it. However, by the time I went to bed that night, the pain was worse and I could not turn over in bed. I spent the night sleeping on one side with my hand cupped underneath my breast as that was the only thing that reduced the pain.
Each time that Baby E woke for a feed in the night, I asked Husband to check my forehead (it’s like he has a thermometer in his hand and can detect a fever at ten paces) but there was nothing. By the time I woke on Monday morning though, I felt rotten – like I had the ‘flu (aching limbs, headache, feverish) but without any signs of ‘flu in my nose or throat. When I checked my temperature (with a real thermometer this time), it was at 37.6°, so high but not that high.
I read a couple of books to check and see if it was mastitis (Baby Whisperer and the brilliant What to Expect When You’re Breast-feeding by Clare Byam-Cook, which I highly recommend) and it looked like it could be, although I had no lumps and no red streaks, both of which are typical signs. Both books stressed the importance of consulting your doctor if you suspected mastitis, since it can be fixed without antibiotics if caught early enough.
I decided to call the health information line for Stockholm, where you can get advice from a nurse. The woman I spoke to said that it might be mastitis (mjölkstockning in Swedish) but that I should not bother to go to the doctor as my fever was not high enough to justify it and I should wait and see if I got worse.
I find this reaction from healthcare providers here in Sweden so frustrating. It is just like the reaction I got from the lactation specialist about Baby E’s colic-type problems – that you don’t really have a problem, your case is not that bad and that there is someone worse off than you. Yes, that might all be true but when you’re going through a situation like this, it is very hard to be told each time that you’re making too much out of it. I asked Husband why this is the case and he said that he believes it because too many people go to the doctors, ask for antibiotics and then don’t finish the course of tablets, meaning that the bacteria become immune to the antibiotics. All fair enough, but I still believe it odd that given it is a condition where you are advised in books to head straight to your doctor, they put you off doing just that here.
Anyway, during the day I felt worse and worse, my temperature got higher and higher and the sore area got redder and redder. I defied the health line and called the doctors surgery. Unfortunately, it was too late to get an appointment that day but they helpfully gave me the number to the local drop-in clinic at the hospital a few blocks away, and I arranged an appointment for 6pm.
I was so glad that I made the decision to do this as the doctor I saw there confirmed that it was mastitis and said that it was good that I had come in at that stage as if I had left it longer I would have needed antibiotics. She told me to empty the breast using a pump and showed me a massage technique to do at the same time to try to clear the blockage. I left there so pleased that I had a way to try and solve the problem, that I had managed to avoid having to take antibiotics and also just a little bit pleased that I had been proven right (take that, Vårdguiden!) – childish, I know…
So, I did as the doctor said and hoped for a better night. Unfortunately, I had not managed to avoid the worst of the fever and an hour later I had a fever of 39° again and was wrapped up in bed in pyjamas and a fleece dressing gown with the duvet over me and a wool blanket over that. And a couple of hours after that I was drenched in sweat and kicking all of these off.
But I woke this morning feeling much better and with no fever, so I hope that the pumping, massage and pressing a hot, hot flannel against the sore area when I am feeding Baby E have all helped towards solving the problem.
As they say, things can only get better!
Really, week 6 already? That must mean it’s February, right? My days are in such a muddle now but I am sure that I will start to remember what day of the week, week of the month and month of the year it is soon.
Day 37:
Photo © English Mamma
This is the second time in the past week or so that I’ve spotted this taxi in the city centre. How great is this? He seems to charge the same as most other taxis. The only disadvantage that I can see is that it might not be quite as warm as a modern taxi (he is wearing a woolen hat after all). I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for the Citroen DS, so I was pretty excited when I saw this.
Day 38:
Photo © English Mamma
After a long day… although I really, really longed for something a lot little stronger at that point.
Day 39:
Photo © English Mamma
Back at Karolinska hospital for the fifth time in 18 days – this time back to Amningsmottagen – the breastfeeding clinic. I feel as if I know the place pretty well by now.
Day 40:
Photo © English Mamma
Every few days, after I collect Little O from preschool, we head to the Central Station and wave goodbye to the 15.17 train to Gothenburg. I found this train by accident but I like the fact that it has only four carriages: 1st class, 2nd class, a restaurant car and the one nearest to me when I took this photo, which, according to the symbols painted on the outside, is a cocktail and piano bar.
Day 41:
Photo © English Mamma
On Friday, we hit the 2-3 week growth spurt. I took this picture of Baby E finally (!) asleep after a feed. However, he had other ideas and woke up about four minutes after this was taken. Sleep was not the theme of the day…
Day 42:
Photo © English Mamma
Husband found a great new cafe not so far from us and so we decided to check it out on Saturday. Although it was small inside, we found that if we uncoupled the carrycot from the stroller and left the stroller outside, we could sit at the bar stools in the window with Little O on Husband’s lap and Baby E safely sleeping in the carrycot under the counter. The brunch was delicious – and I’m sure that Little O would agree!
Day 43:
Photo © English Mamma
Little O sometimes takes a very casual approach to drinking his bedtime drink!
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The Boy And Me has set up a great linky each week, so head on over there and check out some of the others’ pictures too:
Ha, I should have known that that writing about it would jinx it… So, we went from going four hours between feeds to a night that started with just over three hours between, then two hours and ended in the early hours of the morning with feeding on the hour. Oh yes, it’s growth spurt time.
So far this morning, Baby E has been anywhere between three hours and an hour between feeds and he has now not really slept for about four hours. Ah, yes, the randomness of the growth spurt with all its sleeplessness and fussy behaviour.
The worst thing is that, looking at him, you can see just how tired Baby E is, but he just cannot seem to sleep more than a handful of minutes at a time before he wakes and starts fussing again. He slept for maybe 35 minutes this morning in the stroller while we went to preschool with Little O, so I am going to take him out in the stroller again in a little while an hope that that knocks him out for long enough for him to get some rest.
You can read more about growth spurts on a number of sites – these are ones that I have found most helpful: kellymom, What To Expect and Breastfeeding Problems.
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[I know that it might seem like I am being a bit of a Moaning Minnie at the moment but I have realised that the blog posts from when Little O was this age paint a much rosier picture than was actually the case. At that time, I know that I was tired, emotional and struggling to come to terms with the responsibility of becoming a mother to this fragile little creature but I don't know what happened between feeling this and actually writing my blog. Did I think that it would reveal my life to be less perfect than I wanted to portray it as? I don't know. What I do know this time around is that I want a record of how things really are, warts and all, so that I am not left wondering if I just breezed through these weeks and months without a care.]
Photo © English Mamma
…one giant leap for Mamma and Pappa.
Baby E has taken what we consider to be a massive step forward in the past couple of days and is now going FOUR WHOLE HOURS between feeds at night. Sorry for the shouting but those extra minutes of sleep are just wonderful, refreshing, revitalising, perfect! (Let’s hope that I have not jinxed this by writing it down here…)
So, yesterday we had our return visit to the breastfeeding clinic to see the lactation specialist (who I refer to in my head as the boob nazi). Boob nazi said that it’s all looking good but what the hell was I doing waking Baby E every two hours during the day, where did I read that I should do that so late on (err, he’s only two and half weeks old? Late?) and that that was only the recommendation until your milk came in. Well, from what I’ve read, you cannot feed your baby too much and that until you feel breastfeeding is established it is good to wake them every couple of hours for feeds during the day. I certainly did not really feel until now that breastfeeding was established as I was still having problems getting Baby E to take a good feed on the left.
I took her advice yesterday and followed his lead a little more and he seemed content to feed every three hours. However, content was not something you could describe me as being by the end of the day when I discovered blocked milk ducts. Oh joy… A very hot and very long shower (while constantly checking for the telltale little green lights on the baby monitor) later and I think I’ve managed to ease them somewhat.
Breastfeeding – two steps forward, one step back. Really, if they told you all this beforehand, would you really believe it?
Photo © English Mamma
Well, the appointment that I had at Amningsmottagningen, the breastfeeding clinic at Karolinska hospital, on Wednesday was a very mixed experience.
On the one hand, I left there with some confidence that I could achieve a proper latch with Baby E and that, with some practice, we could actually have pain-free breastfeeding (woo-hoo!). On the other, I am glad that there was a delay in getting the appointment and that I had not gone a week earlier when I was in a much more fragile state…
You had to fill in a form on arrival that asked about how your labour had been, if were breastfeeding fully, partly or not at all, how many formula feeds you had given, whether you felt under stress etc. So I filled that all in but on some of the questions I did struggle to know what to put. Are you under stress – Yes / No. Well, it’s really not as simple as that, is it? Yes, I felt under stress: I’ve just had a baby, I’ve got the baby blues, I have a 20-month old as well and I am struggling with breastfeeding. However, although there are tears (Baby E’s and mine) every day, some days are definitely better than others and compared with some people, I know that I’m not really under that much stress. (Surely a sliding scale of how stressed you feel would be far more appropriate?)
So, I met the lactation consultant and handed over my form, She asked what type of stress I feel under – of course, that was the one question that she honed straight in on. Unfortunately, I got a little bit emotional explaining how it was hard at home with Little O as well and that the two days of the previous week when he’d been unable to go to preschool had been horrendous as he was upset about Baby E’s arrival and was tending towards hitting rather than stroking him. Her response was that it was good for me to cry but that my children were too close in age and that was the problem. Errrm, excuse me? Oh, okay then, I’ll just send one of them back then…
She then examined my breasts and told me that the sores that I have were really nothing and that they didn’t even need to be drained (? – is this an option? maybe something got lost in translation?). We woke Baby E and she showed me how to get a good latch. And, and, and… It worked and there was only minimal pain, caused by those (very minimal) sores. This felt like such a breakthrough. I sat in that chair for the next 20 minutes and fed Baby E and how glad I was about those happy hormones that are released by breastfeeding, otherwise I might just have stood up and clouted her during her discourse into why breastfeeding was the only option, why I should NEVER EVER again give Baby E formula, how that was most likely the cause of his evening crying, how he actually didn’t really even have colic as she’d had one woman whose baby cried 24/7 and had to be carried in a sling and the whole family had had to wear ear plugs, whereas Baby E “only” cried from around 4pm to 1am, and why I am stifling Baby E’s development by swaddling him (despite me explaining that this is a great way to minimise colic, as well as being very comforting for newborns). Oh, crazy lady.
But as I said, she taught me how to get a good latch and that has boosted my confidence considerably. And I’m just choosing to ignore all the other crazy that she came out with.
The only downside…? I have to go back next Wednesday for her to check that I’m following instruction correctly. Bracing myself already!
