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Creativity crisis

An English Mamma in Stockholm: creativity crisis worries concerns

I really want to be creative. Unfortunately though, I don’t think that I am. And this really bothers me. Especially when so many of the blogs that I follow fall into the crafting and DIY category. I have always been okay good at these things – I can knit well on a basic level, my sewing is decent, I can understand the simple concepts behind switching to manual on my DSLR camera and I got okay scores on my assignments for the year that I was taking a course in interior design. But I am no more than average in all of these things.

An English Mamma in Stockholm: creativity concerns worries

I suspect that one of the contributing factors to this is the number of lifestyle and crafting blogs that I read, especially those from the US. You know the ones: everything is so beautifully presented, their homes immaculate, their children sitting calmly for the photographs. And the craft projects that they do… So charming and creative (although most likely so time-consuming).

And I know that this cannot be their everyday reality, but I also cannot help but compare our chaotic, messy lives to theirs. Maybe I should stop following so many of these blogs but I cannot help liking them, even if they do make me so very envious. (Alice raises similar questions about whether we should present ourselves warts and all.)

I yearn to be able to find my creative niche. I watch videos online about exploring my creativity, developing my skills and breaking out of the 9-5 to create something of my own. But I just don’t know what my niche is, what I really am good at.

Or rather, I suspect that I know exactly what my niche is and I’m fighting against admitting it because it is what I do for a job every day. And my job just isn’t sexy, it isn’t about me being my own person, in control of my own assignments.

And now I have started being melodramatic and thinking that maybe this is what a midlife crisis looks like… Maybe I need to tell myself that now is the time in life to focus fully on family and put any thoughts of using creativity more actively  on hold. Or perhaps I can use what creativity I do have and my spare time a little more to making our apartment feel more like home for the boys and us. That might be the best outlet.

I think perhaps I just need to get over it.

6 Comments

  1. I think creativity is definitely about following what you love. What’s your favourite colour? Start there. Your favourite texture? A knitting stitch, for example. Then put them together: what can you make out of those two things?

    That’s really all there is to it. :)

    • Great idea – thanks for the tip! Knitting seems to be the thing that keeps on coming up, so maybe I need to get my head down and start knitting again. And who cares if I don’t actually make something, as long as I enjoy it, I suppose!

      • Exactly. :) When you let yourself be free, you’ll be amazed at what emerges…!

  2. Pingback: Art is limitation | An English mamma in Stockholm

  3. Bezzie is right, you have to make what you really want to. Otherwise it will stay half-finished. I was always creative but i could only ever make things I was really interested in at that time. So I went from designing and making my own clothes, to lacemaking, to embroidering them and ruching and you name it I did it. I even made my own leather handbags. but as soon as my father tried to get me to make money at it I lost interest, because it was my relaxation and I didn’t want it to become something stressful. So I stopped until I had my own children and my own house,but we moved so often that I lost interest again. I haven’t made anything for over a year now.

    • I’m just on my way home from a hat making workshop that was fantastic and has given me some great ideas.
      And, four days on, I’m still on the search for my knitting needles. They must be at home somewhere and then the evenings will be filled with knitting – something I find so relaxing.

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